Dulu masa aku kecik, aku ada 'superpower'. Aku boleh control mimpi ngeri aku dan buatkan mimpi tu berakhir dengan cara yang seronok atau at least, tak menakutkan sangat. Aku mimpi aku lemas di tengah laut, tapi aku buatkan dalam mimpi tu, aku boleh bernafas dalam air, and after that di akhir mimpi tu, aku bertukar jadi ikan duyung, yang sah-sah la boleh bernafas dalam air. Another time, aku mimpi ada orang diupah untuk bunuh aku. Tapi aku buatkan orang yang diupah tu rupanya kawan aku sendiri, so dia tak sampai hati nak bunuh aku, dan dia lindungi aku dari orang jahat tu insteaad.

"Saya tak pernah dengar perempuan takut darah," kata tunang aku pada aku masa dia drive nak hantar aku balik rumah. (Korang jangan pelik, kami memang suka borak benda-benda random yang tak masuk dengan tajuk utama langsung). Aku diam sambil fikirkan kata-kata dia and cuba untuk ingat kalau ada orang-orang yang aku kenal (perempuan) yang takut darah.

from: cutomer Siam

Sebelum aku buat apa-apa keputusan besar, aku berdoa pada Allah, "Ya Allah, kalau A yang terbaik untuk aku, maka bantulah aku ke arah itu. Tapi kalau B yang terbaik untuk aku, maka permudahkanlah aku ke arah itu."

Aku selalu fikir dan rasa yang boyfren aku SANGAT seksi time dia bawak kereta. Dulu aku ingat apa punya loser aku ni sampai boleh naik berahi kat orang bawak kereta.

I'm glad. Apparently, the 'girl' thinks I'm her "Mr. Right"

Job interview macam mengorat perempuan: you have to be a smooth talker and pandai buatkan diri sendiri macam Mr. Right untuk perempuan tu. Masa ni la kita jadi the 'perfect'est human being alive. And we should always ready to make promises we don't intend to keep.

-Miza-

1. Most of m friends kt company ni dah mula move on and cari kerja lain. Before I know it, tiba-tiba semua orang nak tinggalkan company ni, which left me alone, literally. Balik dari ofis aku cerita kat Incik Tunang perkara ni, with a sense of detachment. But to my surprise, I found myself tear up and before I know it, aku dah teresak-esak masa cerita kat Incik Tunang.

"Ain dengan Ida dah last week kat ofis. *sob sob* Next week Ain start kat tempat keja baru *sob sob* Ida keja dengan government *sob sob*, El pun dah letak notis *sob sob*. Sian saya sorang-sorang je *sob sob*. Sedihla. Dah la diorang kawan pertama saya since saya datang Klang *sob sob* (lap hingus kat baju Incik Tunang). Lepas ni saya nak makan dengan sapa? Saya nak gosip dengan sapa? *sob sob*"

Incik Tunang dah gelabah dah tengok aku teresak-esak but to his credit, he manage to calm me down and bear the hingus yang aku lap kat baju dia. Bagus. Dia sanggup terima hingus aku, maka aku declare dia lulus ujian pertama. Hahaha!

But then, yeah. Aku still sedih and nangis sorang-sorang. I love them girls okay. The best thing ever happen to me in the company. So since the reason to keep me in the company dah tak ada, so I guess I have to move on and cari kerja baru jugak...

Anybody tau company korang ada kerja kosong ke tak? *wink wink*

2. Aku pergi Ikea masa dating semalam. Niat hati just nak 'tengok-tengok' and 'cari idea' je. Tapi banyak barang murah and comel okay and aku tak tahan. So aku beli some items untuk dapur aku. I manage to get 5 or 6 items and all under RM100.00! VERY good deal, I tell you.

3. And surprise of surprise, masa kat Ikea kami terserempak dengan... hear this...

Incik Tunang's EX-GIRLFRIEND.

"Saya cakap awak jangan terkejut tau. Ex saya ada kat sini," then dan-dan tu jugak dia keluar henpon pegi call ex dia. My reaction? Tengok je la. Abes dah orang ramai kat situ takkan aku nak make a scene? But I was nervous, thinking what will I do in this situation.

We met, we greet, we smiled, we salam each other but I can feel that she was sizing me up. I triend to decide whether she's worth it to start a fight over. Then aku decide, nah, I won already. I HAVE him and he pick ME over YOU. HAHAHAHA! <-- evil laugh.

But the decision was made partly because I think I'm more attractive than her. She's not my competition anyway, so, yeah, biar la. HAHAHAHA lagi! (Mak aih aku jahat rupanya). OKAY SILA LUPAKAN I EVER SAID THAT. Aku tarik balik. Tak baik betul aku cakap camtu. Ish ish ish...

Incik Tunang said I was handling the matter better than he thought I would. Yela kan aku ni drama sikit. Sikit-sikit nangis. But I was cool over the matter. I ask him soalan cepucemas, "Sapa lagi cantik?"

Dia kata aku lagi cantik. "Honestly," he said.

Yeah whatever. He SHOULD answer that. Kalau tak malam pertama I barred him from entering my bedroom! Hahahaha!

2 years ago:

I was at the library, browsing through the Engineering books I need to borrow for my assignment. Earlier that day, I pm'ed Mr A and made a plan to meet him here, since our classes ended at the same time, only that his was in Civil Engineering block and mine in Chemical Engineering block.

Roughly 15 minutes later, I saw him approaching me, his expression determined. I smiled at him in greeting and he raised his brows in return. He then walked over to me. Now he seemed hesitated over something.

" You look like you have something important in mind" I teased him as he stand next to me.
"As a matter of fact, yeah, I do" he replied.
"Really? What is it?" I asked, thinking about crazy adventures we frequently did together, as befit our status as 'final year students'. Maybe he wanted to do something outrageous like last time, where we went out in the middle of the night to Lumut then drive back to UTP, only that he didn't drop me at my hostel, instead we went to Ipoh and go karaoke, then drive around Ipoh aimlessly until God-only-know-what-time.

The next day we sit for our tests. Early in the morning pulak tu! We skipped class for the whole day afterwards because we were so tired we barely keep our eyes open. That one was fun. I was so excited to know what was on his mind this time.

But he still hesitated to say something. He kept averting his eyes and his feet is doing that annoying 'kuis-kuis' thing. "Dude? What?" I slapped the book in front of him. Nak tepuk dahi dia tak boleh. Haram.

Then it dawned on me what the 'something important' was. Gosh, it was like, so obvious! Look at him, nervous and hesitate and all.









Did he want to confess to me he LIKES me?



Suddenly Asiah's warning ring in my ears. "There's no way man and woman can be friends", she said. How am I going to handle this situation? He's my best buddy! I can't reject him or I'll risk losing a good friend! But I can't NOT reject him. I was already in a steady relationship!

Now it's my turn to be nervous.

We were both silent for a minute. Both was trying to frame what to said to each other, as most delicately as possible.

"Listen. I want to say something," he began after gathering his bravery. "Yeah?" I said carefully. He looked down at his shoes, then he ruffled his hair, all the while avoiding my eyes. "Yeah?" I prompted again after he seemed not to know what to say.

"Well," he hesitated yet again, and I became more nervous by the moment. Finally he said what's being bothering him. And when he said it, it made me want to either kick him in the shin or laugh, I cannot decide which one is more appealing.








"Kau pegi kat perempuan tu, kata kat dia, dia 'bocor'. Kesian dia period, tapi tak perasan. Dah la baju putih," he said in a rush while pointed at the poor girl with his eyes and I was looking at him with both disbelieve and amusement.

Bengong. Nak cakap tu pun takut-takut. Dah aku perasan tak tentu hala. Buat malu aku je. Just imagine kalau masa dia tengah takut-takut tu tetiba aku merepek "Mr A, bukan aku nak reject kau, tapi kita kawan dah lama bla bla bla bla". Tak ke malu aku tujuh keturunan nanti?

But by God, itulah saat paling nervous dan seram dalam hidup aku.

Skian.

Checklist kerja part aku:

1. Kad kawen - checked
- Benda paling simple yet paling susah nak buat. Sebab? I have a general idea how the cards are going to be:- silver/white, simple (tader kerawang-kerawang atau motif bunga sarat2), elegan (at least pada mata aku) and murah. Walaupun kriteria murah tu aku letak pada prioriti paling akhir, tapi sebenarnya murah tu agak penting sebab aku taknak spend beratus-ratus on something yang aku tau kalau aku bagi kamu semua, last-last kad tu buang dalam tong sampah jugak.

At last we manage to get a card yang design dia as what I want and murah. (Bold sebab itu point penting). Tapi spoil sebab tetiba ada pulak kawan Incik Tunang yang buat bisnes kad kawen approach dia and kind of 'paksa' Incik Tunang beli dari dia.

Well, I don't say that kad kawen dia tak bagus. Kad dia bagus tapi MAHAL nak mampus! For the same design yang dia offer, aku boleh dapat half price kat kedai luar. And she defended her cards saying yang kad dia mahal sikit sebab kad tu berkualiti, dia hot stamp and kad dia bau wangi. Fine. Oklah macam tu. Tapi kalau just upgrade dua benda tu je pun takkan mark up sampai sekali ganda dari kedai luar? Tak masuk akal la. Lagipun as I say, kad tu cantik macam mana pun, wangi macam mana pun, last-last orang buang jugak. Takdenye orang nak gantung-gantung buat perhiasan or boleh jual. Let say kalau aku beli dari dia, aku kena spend EXTRA RM600. Which is better spent on something more important. Professional photographer for example.

So aku kata kat Incik Tunang, tolak je la dia. Tapi you wouldn't believe camner susahnya nak tolak dia ni. Orang tolak cara beralas cakap dia tak paham. Aku kata aku tak mampu nak beli kat dia. Then dia intoduce design lain yang within bajet aku. Tapi bukan design tu yang aku nak! So aku panas sebab dia paksa aku amek design dia yang murah sikit tapi bukan yang aku nak. Dia pulak panas sebab aku degil nak design lain, tapi design yang aku nak tu, mahal. (Aku degil sebab aku dah dapat quotation half price untuk design yang sama. Of course I won't settle for something less, when I can get better deal, kan?)

Bila aku dah panas, dia pun dah panas, last-last Incik Tunang slow talk dengan dia. Kata maaf sangat-sangat sebab tak boleh ambil dengan dia. Then pujuk-pujuk semua, last-last cancel la. (Hey, bukan exactly cancel pun sebab aku tak pernah janji nak ambik dengan dia in the first place!). So hari ni, kami pergi kedai kad yang memang aku akan tempah pun in the first place, kalau tak kawan Incik Tunang ni tetiba masuk campur.

2. Set katil kawen - checked
- Last month start survey-survey. Konon carik area Seremban sebab design dia cantik and more up-to-date la konon. Last-last semalam beli kat kedai perabot Bahau jugak. Haha. Within budget aku and more or less something yang aku dah envision jugak.

3. Mak andam - checked
- Dapat mak andam dekat Batu Kikir juga. Judging from her portfolio, cantik jugak dia mekap orang. Tapi I'm not really settle untuk baju and pelamin. Baju tu, design dia ok. Cuma I think it's too... purple. I'll ask her to change the fabric to a more silvery-purple sket. Then pelamin pun okay. Cuma aku nak suruh dia guna lighter shade of purple and throw in more silver and white untuk kain backdrop. Bunga aku nak suruh dia guna all-white. Bunga purple tu semua buang. Bunga pahar pulak kasi kaler silver instead of purple. In short, aku nak lebihkan silver/white and minimumkan purple.

Jap, bila aku baca balik apa yang aku nak ni, macam suruh dia tukar 95% dari apa yang dia present kat aku pulak. Taper, customer's always right. Lagipun aku yang nak kawen, so in some ways I think I'm entitled to what I want. Hahaha...

4. Borang nikah - checked
- Dah bagi kat abah semalam.

Hurm.... apa lagi belum buat. Nanti aku go through checklist aku lagi.