Of Strong People

Sometimes I wish I can turn back time and do one thing.

I wish I had more friends from all walks of life with various life styles and background so that now when people tell me outrageous things about their life, I know how I would react to that.

Aku introvert. Aku tak kisah tak kawan dengan ramai orang because I am my own best friend. I'd rather curl in my bed with a good book on Friday nights rather than going out and socializing with friends. When I do have friend, they sure are similar to me in terms of family background and their views of life. So yeah, I was overprotected when I was growing up. Not that I'm complaining about it though. I kind of like my life as it is.

Now, despite my introvert nature, my job makes me have to interact with people. And I think there's something about me that make people trust me. They tell me things that is supposedly the most embarrassing and private thing about them. I'm treated like I'm their personal diaries. I'm honored to be made to feel like I'm important (haha) but honestly, I don't know how to react to stories about homosexuality, adultery, sexual abuse and the likes. Because I grew up thinking those were the stuff made for tv. It does not happen in real life.

Realizing that it does happen, it is the way of life for some of my friends open my eyes like nothing could. My life is relatively heaven compared to them. And it makes me realized one thing: don't ever look down on someone who's different. Itu dugaan Allah untuk dia. Siapa kita nak pandang rendah pada orang lain. Kita nak persoalkan dugaan Allah pada dia ke?

Aku rasa kecil sebab aku tak boleh tolong apa-apa. Aku boleh dengar je cerita korang. Nak bagi opinion or nasihat pun tak boleh sebab honestly, aku tak tau nak cakap apa. I hope you all will stay strong. Aku admire korang semua sebab you must be strong enough that God deemed you as orang yang layak menerima dugaan-Nya. Aku yakin Allah tu Maha Adil. Dia takkan bagi dugaan pada kita unless kita boleh terima dugaan tu.

And sebab aku tak cukup strong, Allah bestow on me a relatively easier life than most people. Dia nak tengok aku bersyukur ke tak.

Itu pun kadang-kadang fail jugak.

Aku ni memang lemah.

Insaf sekejap.